New book/Quest for UPS socks
So I was thinking, “Hey, now that I’m out of school and now on payroll, how can I waste my summer? I know! I’ll learn an auxiliary language!”
Hmm… but which one? Elvish is only spoken in the land of ComiCon. Then there’s Esperanto, but only like 3 people speak that, and then they’ll tell you that thousands of people speak it. So I went with the only one that has a Freenode.net IRC channel: Lojban!
So I went down to my local Barnes and Noble and said, “Gimme some Lojban!” The woman working there turned her lady-fro-veiled face to me and said, “We have one item, and it’s preorder-only.” I slapped a $10 bill on the counter and said, “GIMMEH!”.
Meanwhile, back in Nashville, a jumpsuit-clad man was putting What is Lojban by Nick Nicholas in a box.
The book wound up in Kentucky somehow and took the supersonic highway to Phoenix, arriving in just under 25 minutes.
So while it’s in the tubes of my local UPS just out of reach, I decided to attempt to get me a pair of them kick-ass UPS socks (that’s not my leg)!
I called the UPS store in Buckeye.
UPS: Hello, thank you for calling the UPS blah blah blah blah help you?
Me: Yes, I saw a UPS driver the other day and he was wearing these socks–
UPS: You can’t purchase those.
Me: Oh, I–
UPS: Those are for our drivers only.
Me: Okay, by–
UPS: Have a nice day sir. And remember, sir… stay vigilant…
Okay, so I made that last part up. But she wasn’t going to even attempt to do anything for me. So I decided that I would just have to email corporate…
You see, I’m leaving a cliffhanger here. Check back next… interval of time… for the sequel!
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