P2P, DRM, and Masturbatory Lawsuits
It is almost 5 months since my last blog post, so I’ll just write up this opinion piece here.
First of all, piracy is something Somalians do. I’m not a pirate. I don’t have a pegleg, or a hook hand, or a beat up but still functioning Kalashnikov rifle I got off the black market for some kidneys that I removed from a lost tourist using a plastic butter knife and salad tongs.
I am a user of peer-to-peer networks. I do not care to disclose the sorts of things that I obtain from these, but it is the most efficient way to download large files such as open source operating systems, that’s for sure.
Put on your hypothetical hypothetical thinking caps for a second, and let’s lure the idea that I download copyrighted materials such as TV shows and songs from these P2P networks out of the crapper. I’m not a pirate. I don’t hire wenches, or tell people to walk the plank, or hold white people and their boats for ransom. In the scope of our hypothetical thinking, I procure songs and shows in a way that the RIAA and MPAA do not necessarily approve of.
I’m not a thief. I do not remove anything from anybody’s possession. I do not claim what is not mine. I do not claim credit for any works that are not mine.I support the artists I like. If I were to download an album, and I like it, and their record company isn’t completely evil, I’d pay for it. Example, The Wretch over at Magatune.com. Sometimes a band can be so face-meltingly awesome that I’ll forgive the evil record company for once, so I’d buy one album. Judas Priest, why the hell are you with Sony BMG? I could be a far more loyal customer!
Same goes for movies and shows. NBC’s Life would be on the same shelf as Judas Priest. Still pondering whether or not to buy Season 2 when it comes out, now that the Nude Baboon Commission canceled it. Hey, NBC, stop murdering your good shows!
The formula for winning me over as a loyal customer is this: good material, reasonable price, and a publishing/record/production company that won’t hunt me down with legal guns a-suing if I choose to try before I buy. Also, no DRM.
Oh, yeah DRM. I also put that in the title (the masturbatory lawsuits thing is kind of evenly distributed, like a chocolate chip topping).
I actually fully support a company’s rights to package their products as they see fit, even if that involves some kind of whackjob encryption scheme. I just think it’s a stupid idea, and no legislation should be passed about it. Though I do find it hilarious that any effective DRM scheme requires the use of encryption, and therefore can’t be sold to embargoed countries (and the feds do take it seriously, as I found out working on a project for a client of mine).
Say I buy a song, DRM-encumbered from a company, let’s call them Fun2Play, Inc. Fun2Play sells songs that have DRM on them. I can only play them with the Fun2Play player, which only runs on the Fun2Run operating system. Well bah-bah-blacksheep, I say! I run GNU/Linux! I wanna play the song using VLC!
So I spend a few days with twenty-two pots of coffee, and figure out that the songs are really .OGG files, encrypted using the SHA1 hash of the word “ppppt”. Apparently I cracked SHA1 too. I am now able to play the song I bought anywhere I want!
I blog all about my findings here, and then Fun2Play Inc. comes after me.
“Yo dawg i herd u liek crackin drm schemes so I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!“
Now here’s where I take issue with DRM. I’ve still not stolen anything, I just managed to crack your silly DRM scheme. I just wanted to play it on multiple machines.So you companies that use DRM, sure, go right ahead. Just remember two things:
- Congrats. You’ve forfeited every customer who understands the meaning of DRM.
- Except for the determined few who will crack your DRM scheme. They WILL crack it, they always do. You can’t win.
I guess that just about covers it. Now what did you learn?
- Don’t be an asshole.
- Don’t chase people down for “piracy”, or people like me will “pirate” more.
- The aforementioned pirates aren’t pirates.
- Don’t waste your time on DRM.
- I don’t rob people, and neither should you.
Thanks for reading, and don’t sue me. If you do, then I’ll look at you like this: 
