Ferk You Too
The Official Blog of Tuna
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Political posts ain’t my thing, but…
This was just too good. Quote from IRC channel #teensonlinux
* AlgorithmicContr is feeling sorry for John McCain. He’s matching wits with Paris Hilton, and it’s a draw.
<Vargstierna> that totally doesn’t make sense, wits is a plural but two halves only add up to one
Oh, yeah, this thing.
Figured I should post an actual update, so here it is.
OSCON was friggin awesome!
Oh, and I went to OSCON.
“But Mr. Tuna, your McAwesomeness, what the cactaur is an OSCON?”
Well, OSCON is a very special event where nerds and geeks and hackers like me from around the world get together in Portland and talk about Open Source Software. I just happened to be a speaker there. My topic was about how FOSS can appeal to teenagers. Here is the O’Reilly page for the talk and here is my talk on Google Video. Yes, I wear that hat everywhere.
Got my book, but what about the socks?
I finally got my book today! YAY!
I can now speak to people in a strange tongue and no one will understand me! I will be IMPERCEIVABLE MAN!!!
However, my quest for UPS-branded socks has yet to be fruitful. Here’s the email I sent to UPS corporate:
Dear Service of Posting that is United,
I was on the way home from a dentist appointment and I was abruptly
stopped by a red light. I looked to my right, and saw a big brown UPS
truck. Oh, what a majestic brown it was with gold lettering and logo. I
looked at the man driving it (you have good drivers, by the way) and he
was nicely dressed in his UPS uniform. The thing that stood out the
most, however, were the socks.What great socks they were, brown with a gold trim and a nice
embroidered UPS logo above the ankle. They really represent your
business well.I am wondering where I can get these socks? Do you have them for sale
some place? You should open up an online Merchandise store. You’d be
rich(er)!I think that you should also know just how quick and reliable your
service is. I ordered a book from Barnes and Noble on Sunday, and your
tracking service says that it went from Kentucky to Phoenix in 20
minutes!!! How do you do it? It is now (apparently) loaded in a truck
and I’ll have it tomorrow. How great you are! I give you my thumbs UPS!thanks!
-tuna
Well that’s a nice email. I complemented their business and the men and women in brown who serve them daily. But here is the ungrateful, half-hearted response I got…
Dear Tuna,
Thank you for your inquiry.Your comments are very important to us.
Customer feedback allows us to continually improve our services. Please
note that comments such as these help when planning the design and
function of all UPS merchandise and are highly appreciated.
Unfortunately, UPS does not have merchandise for sale.Please contact us if you need any additional assistance.
Shakira Hanson
UPS Customer Service
What is that??? He didn’t even parse his punctuation correctly in that first line there, which I find extremely insulting. He went on to completely ignore my nice comments about them, and condescendingly reject my inquiry with a simple “We do not have UPS merchandise for sale.” I must say, those guys are really good at making us bloggers look like geeky little teenage weirdos, learning obscure languages that nobody speaks and trying to get free swag from… what?
I’m not going to give up. I’m going to GET some UPS socks. I’m making a whole category about it.
New book/Quest for UPS socks
So I was thinking, “Hey, now that I’m out of school and now on payroll, how can I waste my summer? I know! I’ll learn an auxiliary language!”
Hmm… but which one? Elvish is only spoken in the land of ComiCon. Then there’s Esperanto, but only like 3 people speak that, and then they’ll tell you that thousands of people speak it. So I went with the only one that has a Freenode.net IRC channel: Lojban!
So I went down to my local Barnes and Noble and said, “Gimme some Lojban!” The woman working there turned her lady-fro-veiled face to me and said, “We have one item, and it’s preorder-only.” I slapped a $10 bill on the counter and said, “GIMMEH!”.
Meanwhile, back in Nashville, a jumpsuit-clad man was putting What is Lojban by Nick Nicholas in a box.
The book wound up in Kentucky somehow and took the supersonic highway to Phoenix, arriving in just under 25 minutes.
So while it’s in the tubes of my local UPS just out of reach, I decided to attempt to get me a pair of them kick-ass UPS socks (that’s not my leg)!
I called the UPS store in Buckeye.
UPS: Hello, thank you for calling the UPS blah blah blah blah help you?
Me: Yes, I saw a UPS driver the other day and he was wearing these socks–
UPS: You can’t purchase those.
Me: Oh, I–
UPS: Those are for our drivers only.
Me: Okay, by–
UPS: Have a nice day sir. And remember, sir… stay vigilant…
Okay, so I made that last part up. But she wasn’t going to even attempt to do anything for me. So I decided that I would just have to email corporate…
You see, I’m leaving a cliffhanger here. Check back next… interval of time… for the sequel!
Here’s something to smash wine bottles on your head at…
Apparently, this MIT student was nearly shot for wearing a sweatshirt with a breadboard and a bunch of LEDs on it. From Declan McCallugh’s blog…
An MIT student named Star Simpson was apparently picking up a friend at Boston Logan airport and wore a sweatshirt with a breadboard and some LEDs and a 9V battery. She had created it for a student career day.Big mistake. She was nearly killed by police (armed with semiautomatic weapons that some jurisdictions prevent law-abiding Americans from owning) who surrounded her. State Police Maj. Scott Pare actually told the press that she was "extremely lucky she followed the instructions or deadly force would have been used... She's lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue."
Not helping your case, Major Pare.
What kind of idiot would do that? I mean, really. Here is a picture of the sweatshirt…
First of all, that looks nothing like a bomb. Secondly, if it looked like a bomb at all, what kind of idiot terrorist would walk into an airport with a bomb taped on their chest like that?
You can help pay for this girl’s legal charges by buying a t-shirt here.
ToL-TL Merger
There was some serious discussion about a merger between TeensOnLinux.org and TeenLUG. Well here’s the latest:
It ain’t happening!
I’ve decided that our site, although a community site, must have some control. I, as admin, am responsible for keeping our site alive. Therefore, I am obligated to keep the site from being destroyed, as this “merger” would have it.
This proposed merger is nothing more than “Hey, we’re rebuilding our site, why don’t you destroy yours and come over to ours?”
It’s like having MEPIS and Ubuntu merge, but MEPIS drops all their code, all their logos and names, and then their entire user base switches over to Ubuntu. The MEPIS project would no longer be maintained or supported.
I’m not trying to be selfish or claim everything as my own. That is not my intention. I just feel that this isn’t being fair to anyone but TeenLUG.
I mean nothing against the members or admin of TeenLUG, but I refuse to destroy our website just to service theirs.