I was not aware of this…
But apparently, I’m a stoner…
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Thanks, QuizFarm!
Ferk You Too
The Official Blog of Tuna
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Furry Purple Rodent Dentist lolwut?
http://supertunaman.com/prof_lepus/
Parts 1 and 2, respectively, in FLV format. If your computer can’t play them, then download VLC and open the files with that.
Apparently, that weirdo toothpaste company made this video a long time ago to brainwash kids into buying their products, and lately they’ve been trying to remove the videos from the internet out of embarrassment. As you download this, keep this in mind.
Soviet Breakdancers!
I truly believe that there is nothing that ever occurred without somehow making it to Youtube.
Got my book, but what about the socks?
I finally got my book today! YAY!
I can now speak to people in a strange tongue and no one will understand me! I will be IMPERCEIVABLE MAN!!!
However, my quest for UPS-branded socks has yet to be fruitful. Here’s the email I sent to UPS corporate:
Dear Service of Posting that is United,
I was on the way home from a dentist appointment and I was abruptly
stopped by a red light. I looked to my right, and saw a big brown UPS
truck. Oh, what a majestic brown it was with gold lettering and logo. I
looked at the man driving it (you have good drivers, by the way) and he
was nicely dressed in his UPS uniform. The thing that stood out the
most, however, were the socks.What great socks they were, brown with a gold trim and a nice
embroidered UPS logo above the ankle. They really represent your
business well.I am wondering where I can get these socks? Do you have them for sale
some place? You should open up an online Merchandise store. You’d be
rich(er)!I think that you should also know just how quick and reliable your
service is. I ordered a book from Barnes and Noble on Sunday, and your
tracking service says that it went from Kentucky to Phoenix in 20
minutes!!! How do you do it? It is now (apparently) loaded in a truck
and I’ll have it tomorrow. How great you are! I give you my thumbs UPS!thanks!
-tuna
Well that’s a nice email. I complemented their business and the men and women in brown who serve them daily. But here is the ungrateful, half-hearted response I got…
Dear Tuna,
Thank you for your inquiry.Your comments are very important to us.
Customer feedback allows us to continually improve our services. Please
note that comments such as these help when planning the design and
function of all UPS merchandise and are highly appreciated.
Unfortunately, UPS does not have merchandise for sale.Please contact us if you need any additional assistance.
Shakira Hanson
UPS Customer Service
What is that??? He didn’t even parse his punctuation correctly in that first line there, which I find extremely insulting. He went on to completely ignore my nice comments about them, and condescendingly reject my inquiry with a simple “We do not have UPS merchandise for sale.” I must say, those guys are really good at making us bloggers look like geeky little teenage weirdos, learning obscure languages that nobody speaks and trying to get free swag from… what?
I’m not going to give up. I’m going to GET some UPS socks. I’m making a whole category about it.
New book/Quest for UPS socks
So I was thinking, “Hey, now that I’m out of school and now on payroll, how can I waste my summer? I know! I’ll learn an auxiliary language!”
Hmm… but which one? Elvish is only spoken in the land of ComiCon. Then there’s Esperanto, but only like 3 people speak that, and then they’ll tell you that thousands of people speak it. So I went with the only one that has a Freenode.net IRC channel: Lojban!
So I went down to my local Barnes and Noble and said, “Gimme some Lojban!” The woman working there turned her lady-fro-veiled face to me and said, “We have one item, and it’s preorder-only.” I slapped a $10 bill on the counter and said, “GIMMEH!”.
Meanwhile, back in Nashville, a jumpsuit-clad man was putting What is Lojban by Nick Nicholas in a box.
The book wound up in Kentucky somehow and took the supersonic highway to Phoenix, arriving in just under 25 minutes.
So while it’s in the tubes of my local UPS just out of reach, I decided to attempt to get me a pair of them kick-ass UPS socks (that’s not my leg)!
I called the UPS store in Buckeye.
UPS: Hello, thank you for calling the UPS blah blah blah blah help you?
Me: Yes, I saw a UPS driver the other day and he was wearing these socks–
UPS: You can’t purchase those.
Me: Oh, I–
UPS: Those are for our drivers only.
Me: Okay, by–
UPS: Have a nice day sir. And remember, sir… stay vigilant…
Okay, so I made that last part up. But she wasn’t going to even attempt to do anything for me. So I decided that I would just have to email corporate…
You see, I’m leaving a cliffhanger here. Check back next… interval of time… for the sequel!
Iteration 16
As of today, I am legally 16 years old. Traditionally, I would have gotten a car for my birthday, and had a nice Sweet 16 montage of me driving around town picking up all the lady-types.
But why would I want that? Driving montages are SO 80’s! This year, I’m gettin’ me a microcontroller!
“But Your Excellency, what in your kingdom is a microcontroller?”, you may ask me.
Well, my lowly subject, a microcontroller is a little thing that does stuff. There’s one in the microwave in the kitchen, one in the alarm clock that alerts you to get out of bed at 3 in the morning, and even one in your robot skull.
Yes, because my parents are wicked-awesome like that, they got me an Arduino. It is probably the most fun item that sits in my room at this moment. Here is a picture of it:
Although mine seems to be a different version than what is pictured, but it’s basically the same. Definitely a weekend-filler
To go along with it, my parents got me this book:
That is, making things talk to each other, not like, audibly talking in English… but that would be pretty sick too.
For example, you could, by using instructions from the book, make a networked Pong game using Birthday present #1 as a controller of sorts.
I hope to learn a lot from my gifts. Whether I do or not, I’ll certainly have fun!
Things to do
I have a five day weekend starting about twelve hours from this moment in time. That is five days of 10% homework and 90% whatever happens to me as I lie on the couch like a vegetable, but not nearly as useful.
Maybe I should do something this weekend. Not like the involuntary things I usually do such as breath, exist, and watch daytime television, but rather something active. Here is a list I have compiled of things that I might do.
- Work on the new CMS I’ve been promising TeensOnLinux.org for months.
- Create completely stupid chain emails that make no sense, send them out to a bunch of people, and see how seriously people take them.
- Kill my internet connection by attempting to ping-attack Google.
- Sit outside with airsoft gun and try to hit all those birds that land on my roof.
- Attempt to run Visual Basic 6 on Linux (always futile)
- Make a virus in VB, save for Senior Prank
- Get around to working on Qontacts
- Do some Ruby to get away from all the Visual Basic I’ve been force-fed ( I’m practically speaking it. GOTO 8 )
- GOTO 7
- Try to look cool in this hat and these sunglasses.
- Blog about my adventures in each of the above
Look Out, Little Ones!
Because I won’t hesitate!